Caroline's right on track developmentally and is such a happier baby since I've gotten this allergy business figured out. I'm still adding foods back in to my diet very slowly and she seems to be doing okay. Peanuts and corn (and all related products) will not be added back in at all while she's nursing.
I took Caroline in to be weighed today. Since last week's monster gain of 11 ounces, I was really excited to see what her 10 week weigh in would bring. Unfortunately, it's not great news... she actually lost a little weight and is now 9lbs, 15oz. She's happy though, developing normally and doesn't show signs of hunger, so maybe she's just a slow grower? I'm going to keep exclusively breastfeeding until she's three months and if by then I'm not seeing some decent gains, I plan to start supplementing with formula. She seems to be okay with soy, so we'll start with soy formula if it comes to that. I'm REALLY hoping she'll just start gaining a normal amount of weight though without being supplemented.
I'm going to be having some mini-surgery on the 25th of this month. I have a cyst that needs to be removed. I've actually had the cyst for a while and it was scheduled to be removed around this time last year, but I got pregnant with our little buttercup, so surgery was cancelled. But the surgery needs to be done because the cyst is growing and can't be ruled out as non-cancerous. My doctor originally wanted to schedule me for an MRI but decided the better plan of attack would be to remove the cyst now, test it in the lab and send me for a MRI at that point if we need to be concerned. The anesthesiologist is going to work with me so that my milk supply isn't compromised by the anesthetics. I should not have to stay the night in the hospital at all. The doctor says that it will probably take me roughly two weeks to feel back to normal, but I'm hoping it doesn't take that long. I have to admit, having surgery without having Benjamin here to take care of me and Caroline is a bit daunting. It's scary to think that not only will I not get to just lay around and recover, but I'll still be every bit as responsible for keeping Caroline healthy, happy and entertained! I will be fine though! I am learning that there is nothing I can't handle. :)
Here's a video I took this evening for Benjamin of Caroline and Bentley doing tummy time!
Also, in honor of Caroline's 10 week birthday, I thought I'd (finally) post her birth story. It's a bit long, so if reading isn't your thing, well, I'm sorry.
On the morning of June 5th, Benjamin and I went to the doctor’s office so that I could be checked for dilation. I was just under 41 weeks pregnant. If conditions were favorable (if I had dilated at all basically) the doctor was going to sweep my membranes, which has the potential of helping the body go into labor. This was my third appointment in a week and at the two previous appointments, I was not dilated at all and nothing could be done. The doctor told me to do a lot of walking because that can help dilation occur. And as a last resort, an induction was scheduled for June 10th, 2008.
After walking as much as I could and going sightseeing in Guam with my visiting mother-in-law, I felt that I should be dilated somewhat. Sure enough, I had finally made it to one centimeter dilated! (Ten centimeters is fully dilated and what the baby needs to come out!) My doctor was able to sweep the membranes and I was on my way.
I really didn’t think I would go into labor as a result of the membrane sweep. My body had been so stubborn up to that point that I just couldn’t fathom it cooperating, so I assumed it would be just another uneventful day. I did feel a little more tired and worn out than usual though and I felt like I was having some bad Braxton Hicks contractions, so I rested and took a nap for a little while. I did feel better after my nap and although I felt kind of sluggish, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. (Benjamin & Judy suspected something though they didn’t tell me that at the time! In retrospect, I was likely in early labor and brushed it off as just feeling sluggish and having Braxton Hicks contractions when in reality bigger things were happening.) In the evening, we all relaxed and watched some TV. Judy went to bed around 11pm and Benjamin started dozing on the couch beside me.
Around 11:35pm, I heard a small but distinct popping noise. For a moment I wondered what it was until it became clear… my water had broken! Fluid began gushing out – literally. So much fluid that it poured out from my sweatpants onto the couch and the floor. Though I was stunned, I managed to nudge Benjamin (asleep beside me) to tell him my water had broken. He ran to grab some towels and helped me to the bathroom.
Once in the bathroom, I realized I had no idea what to do. The fluid was still gushing, so I sat on the toilet. After a minute of that, I really wanted to clean up, so I got in the shower. I stood there wondering what I was supposed to do next. As many books about labor as I had read and all of the research I had done didn’t prepare me for what to actually do when my water broke.
I assumed Benjamin was still cleaning up the mess in the living room but it turned out that he was on the phone with the mother/baby unit at the Naval Hospital. They told him I needed to come in right away and asked to speak to me. They didn’t want me to take a bath, which wasn’t a problem as I was in the shower just letting the water flow on my legs. My “water” still hadn’t stopped although the gushes were a bit more intermittent than the constant flow that they were when they broke. I knew I had to go to the hospital, but I wasn’t sure how to make it there without leaking!
After getting off of the phone with the mother/baby unit, I made a few phone calls to friends and family to let them know that the big day was apparently here. Benjamin helped me dry off and get into my clothes and once we were back out in the living room, I told him that I wasn’t ready. I was pretty scared of giving birth and I felt totally unprepared for what was ahead. I honestly thought I still had at least several days of pregnancy left. Really, I thought I would make it until my induction date, June 10th, before anything happened. But things were definitely happening!
My hospital bag was packed and ready to go, Benjamin had installed the carseat in the truck and grabbed his hospital bag and Judy was ready as well. As we started to head to the door, Judy insisted on documenting the moment which was wise (although I didn’t realize it at the time). Though the picture came out blurry, it was the last memento of the way the baby and I had shared the previous 41 weeks.
On our way to the hospital, Benjamin started timing my contractions. They were coming every 5 minutes and although they were unpleasant, they were not unbearably painful. I had smartly put a thick beach towel over my seat since my “water” still didn’t seem to be done escaping. And thank goodness for that… I was definitely still leaking despite my best efforts to keep things under control.
At one point the contractions started coming every 3 minutes, which turned Benjamin into a speed demon. He had heard a horror story from someone at work who had to deliver their baby in the car on the way to the hospital. Needless to say, Benjamin didn’t want to be in that position, so along we sped. Making record time, we arrived at the hospital around 12:30am on June 6th.
The mother-baby unit was expecting us and immediately took me into a delivery room so that I could get checked out and have an IV line put in. I also was hooked up to a machine that listens to the baby’s heart rate to see how the baby is tolerating the contractions. (She was tolerating them just fine.) The fluid in my underwear was tested to make sure it was amniotic fluid, which it was. I was immediately admitted, had blood work drawn and the doctor came in to check me. Imagine my surprise when it was determined that I was still only 1 centimeter dilated! The doctor recommended I walk around for an hour or so to see if that helped my body progress.
Since the hospital was empty, the hallways would become my track. Judy, Benjamin and I slowly paced those hallways, talking and timing contractions. When a contraction would hit, Benjamin would hold out his arms and I’d lean over him to relieve the pain. The contractions would last about a minute, building in pain until they peaked and then they’d quickly disappear. I’d get totally silent during the contractions just trying to focus on getting through them (by relaxing and remaining calm) and that was working well for me. Once the contraction was gone, we’d resume our walking again. This whole time I was trying to drink water since I knew that once I was in active labor, I wouldn’t be allowed to have anything but ice chips.
After just over an hour of walking, I went back to the mother/baby unit to be checked. Despite my best efforts, I was only dilated to 2 centimeters. At that point it had been almost 4 hours since my water had broken and only having progressed 1 centimeter that whole time wasn’t very good. My doctor was concerned that if I kept walking to try to progress, I’d wear myself out by the time I was in active labor. She suggested trying pitocin to help the contractions along and as much as I had wanted to avoid pitocin, I understood her reasoning. Minutes later, the pitocin was dripping into my now hooked-up IV line and boy did it amp up my contractions! They were still coming regularly but they were much more powerful. I tried to work through them as best I could, but the pain was becoming intolerable. The contractions were also starting to come closer together, which was good. However, the pain was getting to be more than I felt I could handle and I was definitely moaning and yelling at that point. The anesthesiologist was paged, but it would take about 30 minutes or so for him to arrive, so I was offered fentanyl in the meantime to take the edge off and phenergen to help with any nausea that might arise. The pain was so bad that fentanyl was the little blessing I needed to keep going. As soon as they gave it to me, I felt much better. I could still feel the contractions and the pain was not gone by any means, but it was tolerable. In between contractions I was able to sleep (although I was dreaming that I was talking to Benjamin and Judy and didn’t realize I was resting). Before I knew it, the anesthesiologist had arrived and it was time for me to receive my epidural.
The epidural was welcome relief. I was still feeling the contractions and as slowly as I had been progressing, I knew I had hours more of contractions heading my way, so I was grateful for the epidural. The epidural itself was not painful to receive. I was honestly so distracted by the contractions that even if the epidural had been painful, I don’t think I would have noticed. I was just trying to stay as still as possible for the anesthesiologist and besides a small prick, I didn’t feel much of anything. My epidural line and catheter in place, I was able to lie back and my world changed instantaneously. The pain was mostly gone and I had sweet relief! I was able to relax, enjoy my time with Judy and Benjamin and get excited about meeting my baby girl. I could still tell when my uterus was contracting, but I just felt a bit of pressure instead of pain.
The doctor came in to check my cervix for dilation and as she was checking me, she got a really surprised look on her face. I wasn’t sure if it was a good expression or not. I remember asking her and she said that it was happy surprise… I had dilated all the way to 7 centimeters! No wonder those contractions hurt so much before the pain relief! My pitocin was stopped and my body progressed on its own.
I took advantage of this time and rested. At one point, the baby’s heartbeat seemed to decelerate and the room was suddenly flooded with medical personnel. A monitor was inserted through my cervix and attached to the baby’s scalp so that they could accurately assess whether the baby was in distress or not. Another monitor was inserted into my uterus so that my contractions could be better tracked. After helping reposition me, the baby’s heartbeat was fine and I was allowed to rest some more.
Before long, I was 9.5 centimeters dilated and began trembling. I also realized that I could feel my legs and my pelvis – my epidural was wearing off. The nurse notified the anesthesiologist on duty and after assessing my epidural site, he realized that the line was crimped. He tried to fix it but couldn’t, so he took it out and administered a new epidural line. Although it helped some, mainly only my legs were numb. I could still feel my pelvis, which made me uneasy. The anesthesiologist attempted to re-administer my epidural about an inch higher in my spine to see if that would help. Again, it helped some, but definitely didn’t match the glory of that first epidural!
I made it to 10 centimeters by about 10 am but they weren’t ready for me to begin pushing yet. Although I was fully dilated, the baby was still descending and the longer I allowed for her to move down on her own, the less pushing I would have to do myself. Since she wasn’t showing any sort of distress and I was doing fine, the waiting game was on. Although I could feel a lot of pressure and some pain in my uterus, it was not terrible. I could definitely tell that her head was moving down into place and that pushing was not far off.
At approximately 12:15pm, the nurse checked me and said that I could start pushing if I wanted to. I was definitely ready because I could tell that the epidural was wearing off again. I didn’t want to get the epidural line messed with again but didn’t want the pain relief to be completely worn off before the baby was born, so I was eager to push.
I naively believed that the pushing stage didn’t take long. I really thought that ten or twenty minutes of pushing was all it would take, so I wasn’t prepared for what was ahead.
Every time a strong contraction would set in, I would take a deep breath, pull my knees up and bear down as hard as I could for as long as I could. I’d take a quick breath and bear down again as hard and as long as I could. One last quick breath and push and the contraction would ease and I would have a break until the next contraction a couple of minutes later. It was exhausting and I remember beginning to get frustrated that it was taking so much longer than I expected. I asked the nurse how much longer she thought it would take and she said maybe 30 minutes. I balked at that… pushing was so hard and I didn’t know how much more I could take. I remember thinking “I can’t do this!” at a couple of points, it was so difficult. I even said it once or twice to Benjamin and Judy and they were quick to cheer me on and tell me that not only could I do it, but that I was doing it. They definitely cheered me on when I needed it most.
Benjamin was putting cold washcloths on my forehead and Judy was holding a fan to my face, I was so hot. This pushing business was hard work and quite tiring and frankly, I felt close to vomiting which I hate doing. I was frustrated that I could have 30 more minutes ahead of me. In the real world, 30 minutes is nothing… but in labor, 30 minutes is an eternity! The nurse, noticing my frustration, said “Crystal, prove me wrong!” Well, that was the perfect thing to say to me because it was on from that point! I was ready to prove her wrong and meet my baby. I was ready for the pain, hard work and frustration of labor to be behind me. I went into a determined mindset and decided to make my pushes as constructive as I could.
I pushed as hard as I could and although Judy kept telling me that I was getting close, I didn’t feel like I was. But I kept working as hard as I could and before long, the doctor was called into the room. He had been in the room a couple of times before to check on my progress and each time he had walked out, so I knew that I wasn’t as close as I had hoped I was. So when he was called in and stayed, I got excited because I knew I was on the verge of being a new mom. He put on all of his gear and a tray of delivery tools were pushed up next to the bed. The big ceiling light was turned on and positioned and the monitors that had been in the baby’s scalp and my uterus were removed, as was my catheter. It was time!
Since the monitors had been removed, the doctor told me that he was relying on me to determine when my contractions were hitting and to push appropriately. We all waited for the next big contraction and we didn’t have to wait long. I pushed through several contractions until they told me to stop. The doctor told me to let the baby stretch me open. I waited, holding my breath and looking at the clock. The nurse asked if I wanted to touch my baby’s head, but I was so focused on getting her out that I said no! I wanted to do that final push and hold her in my arms, not touch her head!
The doctor told me to do my final push and I did. The feeling was so odd… I pushed and suddenly she was out. On Friday, June 6th, 2008 at 1:39 pm, Caroline June Geib entered the world. I could feel her absence immediately and it was both relieving to my body and alarming to my heart. But she was then put on my chest… wet, slimy and tucked into the fetal position. I put my hands on her, noticing her warmth and dark hair and I stared at her staring back at me. We both just stared at each other taking the whole situation in. She stayed on my chest for a while, pink, alert and healthy. Benjamin and I were in awe of her and Judy began taking pictures through teary eyes. Benjamin was then allowed to go ahead and cut the umbilical cord, which was tougher than he expected!
The nurses briefly took Caroline off my chest so that they could weigh and measure her and take her footprints. I watched her nearly the whole time. It was hard to take my eyes off of this new little person that I was responsible for. I just wanted to hold her! They weighed her and although all of the medical staff had commented on what a big baby she was as she was initially placed on my chest, I didn’t think she was very big. But they announced her weight at 8 pounds, 7 ounces and I was stunned! Both Benjamin and I were 7 pounds, 7 ounces at birth, so I surely thought our baby wouldn’t be any larger than that. But there she was, a full pound heavier than “average” and what we had been. She measured in at 20.75 inches long and scored 9’s on her APGAR.
While I watched my little sweetheart in her warmer being cleaned off and assessed, I heard what the doctor was saying about me and it wasn’t reassuring. I heard him speak of cervical tearing as well as fourth degree tearing in my perineum and he called for an immediate consult from OB/GYN. Within a minute or two, an OB/GYN specialist was in the room and I was being checked. I was bleeding a lot but luckily did not have a cervical tear and my perineum was actually a third degree tear. (In case you’re not familiar… the perineum is the skin between the vagina and the anus. A fourth degree tear is the worst you can get and it means that the skin tore completely between the two areas.) I was relieved that the tear was a third degree tear… it may not be pleasant but at least it wasn’t as bad as it could have been! The doctor then began stitching me up and Caroline was put back onto my chest.
The nurses encouraged me to go ahead and begin breastfeeding Caroline. She proved to be quite the little champion at nursing, immediately latching on. I was so proud… here she was only minutes old and already being as perfect as possible!
Not long after being stitched up and cleaned off, the commotion was gone! The doctors and nurses cleared the room and it was calm and peaceful. I couldn’t believe the hard work was finally over, that I had given birth and was actually a mother! I was exhausted, elated, proud and in love with both my husband and my new baby.
The room was nice and quiet and I wanted to take in every detail of that moment. It was then, looking around that I noticed the blood on the floor, the walls, even the curtain standing in between the door of the room and my bed. I couldn’t believe that delivery was so messy. I know that I bled more than normal, but good gosh! The combination of exhaustion and blood loss caused me to pass smooth out my first attempt at using the restroom after delivery.
Back to bed I went where I remained for the rest of the day. That evening Benjamin, Caroline and I were moved out of the delivery room into a private room. We spent the next two days in that room. Recovery was both harder and easier than I expected. It was hard because Caroline was a very vocal baby and I desperately wanted to rest after what I had been through. But of course, I didn’t want to not tend to her needs, so I mostly went without rest, which was harder than I expected. But recovery was physically easier than I expected. I was only taking Motrin for my pain and although I was a bit uncomfortable, the situation was tolerable. The food however… was not!
Caroline and I were released on the morning of Sunday, June 8th. Benjamin and I took her home and have begun life with a newborn. It’s been challenging for sure, but worth every minute. And having Judy around to help us out with this new transition has been priceless. I can’t imagine what things are going to be like when Judy leaves in just a few days and Benjamin leaves to rejoin his deployment a few days after that. I am terrified of doing it all on my own but I know that I will be a capable mother! But back to the story…
Looking back, there are several things I’m proud of about my labor. For one, there were no profanities, no “blaming” Benjamin for “doing this” to me, no getting nasty or angry. As my mother-in-law said, I was lady throughout the whole ordeal and that means a lot to me. Another thing I’m proud of is that every choice I made during labor was one that I can own up to and was made by me. What I wanted most was to not feel like a sheep during the process of laboring. I wanted to own the experience and the choices and if those choices included getting pain relief, that was fine, so long as the decision was made by me. And I’m so thankful for the love, support and encouragement that Benjamin and Judy gave me. I couldn’t have had a more helpful support team and I hope they’re both present if I ever give birth again!
We chose the name Caroline for our sweet baby girl because of several reasons. First, we loved it! Second, on our honeymoon, over the span of three different countries, we kept hearing the song “Sweet Caroline” which I have always loved. We found this coincidental and hilarious and that Neil Diamond song has since reminded us of that fun trip and the wonderful time we had. When we found out I was pregnant, it was the first name we both though of for a girl. When we read through the baby name book, we happened to glance at our chosen boy name and Caroline was the “recommended” sibling name. A few days later we were back home in Texas for the Christmas break prior to our big move to Guam. We happened to look at Benjamin’s family tree at his aunt and uncle’s house and noticed that Caroline was a family name that hadn’t been used in generations. That really solidified the name decision for us and as we drove down the main road on Andersen Air Force Base across the world in Guam, it’s name made us smile… Caroline’s Avenue. We knew our baby girl would be our Sweet Caroline.
As for her middle name of June… we originally had a different middle name picked out but decided later in the pregnancy that we didn’t want to go with it because it had become too popular. We had a couple of ideas for other names we really liked but there was one we kept getting drawn to… June. June has always been a very special month for Benjamin and I. We're quite sentimental and June is the month that Benjamin first told me he loved me (and I of course said it back!) and that he knew he wanted to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me. It was only fitting that Caroline, the result of those declarations made that June, was born in June. Now June is a month that celebrates our love for each other in every way and we just couldn't pass up the opportunity to have a permanent reminder of that in Caroline's name.
Caroline June is everything I have ever hoped for in a baby. She is the answer to so many hopes and dreams of mine and I am so very proud to be her mother. Benjamin and I can’t wait to see where life takes her and we feel so privileged that she is our daughter.
Although pregnancy and labor were experiences ranging from scary, painful, exhilarating and every emotion in between, they were truly worth every single minute. I would definitely do it again, although not any time soon!
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